How to Trust The Process When Reaching a New Level in Your Business
Trust.
What a beautiful, loaded, complicated word.
The nature of trust is solid. Yet, our path there? One of the most difficult.
I was lucky enough to talk to my business coach earlier today and we shared with each other and the rest of the ladies on the call about developing the importance of developing trust within.
That when being a CEO and creator of your own business it really comes down first and foremost to the belief we have in ourselves.
The Energy Leak of Mistrust
One of the ways doubt and lack of confidence shows up in our lives and businesses is through the energy leak of mistrust.
It looks like a lot of different things.
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Second guessing your decisions.
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Looking for approval from other people when you’ve made a decision.
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Feeling paralyzed if you can’t get that approval.
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Perfectionism and needing to get things exactly right
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Feeling terrified of trusting the process.
When starting your business or taking a leap into a new level of it this energy leak is so common. All your doubts and fears come to the surface. All those roots of old limiting beliefs start to pull tightly into the earth.
Have a goal that you desire? Forget about it. Self doubt is going to creep in.
So how do you handle mistrust when it inevitably does?
Can you assume it will come up and that’s okay?
How about using it as evidence that you are stepping into your calling more deeply?
How can you decide not to use doubt and mistrust as evidence to give up?
Compassion for the Doubt
Using your inner loving parent and your higher self as witness, you can have compassion for your humanness and also the good intent of a doubting part.
You can let go being hard on yourself for feeling doubt (judgment only creates more tension and protection).
Your Vibrational Escrow
Try this idea on: What if your wisest self was protecting your inheritance for you? That your heartfelt purpose and desires already exist?
Exactly what your truth wants is being held by spirit until you are ready for it. It is yours.
Good Feelings Currency
Imagine your body is a bank and the more good feelings and good vibes you give to the bank, the more you fill yourself up and have a cushion for a rainy day.
The more you praise yourself, encourage yourself, treat yourself well, you have a buffer for when those inevitable doubts will arise.
Trust that your higher self knows what's best for you
You may like to call it intuition or alignment, a sixth sense, a higher power, the universe. If you can trust that there is a process that creates babies and makes the sun go round each day, you can practice trusting there is something greater than yourself.
Face the Worst Case Result
Seeing that you will be okay regardless of the outcome can help to diffuse the charge of fearful emotions.
Knowing you can face whatever comes your way and that you wont abandon yourself will also support the fears and doubts unconditionally, removing the charge.
Give Credit to the Signs
There are always signs that you are on your way. This is how we enjoy the process too. Look at the ways that you are moving towards your goal. Conversations, opportunities, smaller occurrences or partial occurrences of the full thing are all signs
Remember Previous Doubts
Hear me out. Not to reignite them but to see the progress you've made. You've manifested before. You've had doubts too.
Remembering you had doubts and reassuring the doubting parts that things turned out not only okay but better than you expected
Ask for Support
Find someone to work with who you can trust. I'm one of many.
Find the right fit for you!
I hope that these 8 tips will support you on your journey towards being the unique, empowered, confident CEO that you truly are!
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P.S. Creating massive impact for women like you: the creative, empathic, intelligent, entrepreneur is my passion!
The “heart centered why” is the first step towards creating a solid and supportive foundation for your business.
Join me for a free Business Strategy Session where I will help you discover your heart centered why + see if we are a good fit working together!
How to manage the crazy of social media with meaningful marketing
Do you ever go on social media only to resurface frustrated & confused, not sure what you just did, let alone if it was meaningful?
I know, It can be bonkers on there.
Social media is a great marketing tool with many people sharing how it's working for them.
Yet, it can feel like a crowded night club where you’re shouting over the noise. Then the lights go on and nothing looks as sexy as you thought.
This week I got real with ya’ll on Instagram
I crave authentic connection in a technological world of digital words, emojis and pretty photos.
Don't get me wrong, I love pretty photos.
Yet, not enough of us are talking about the "cray" of social media and how to navigate it in an authentic way.
The conversation hit home with so many. (Evidence that social media can still be used for good ;)
Here’s some of the words that people used to describe their experience. Can you relate to any of them?
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It’s feels like a fake world
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We are showing others only what we want them to see
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Overstimulation
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Tedious cycle of trading content for followers/likes
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Feeling blocked and burdened with social media
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Needing to stop posting completely and not sure how to get back into it
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It’s confusing
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Second guessing what to do
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Feeling frustrated about how people grow their accounts or get followers
This is how people want to feel on social media:
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Bring back human contact!
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Keep it simple and authentic
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Let go of the likes/followers
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Feel light about sharing their creativity
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Want refreshing attitudes and positivity
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Real connections
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A balance in life between family, passion and marketing
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To feel certain they are learning something thru the trial and error
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To trust that breaks are okay
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The desire to be part of it but in a healthy way that feels good
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A space to slow down and connect
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Time to create/paint/follow their passion and create meaningful marketing
What are some of the reasons why Social Media is making us crazy?
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There’s so many platforms to choose from
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Social media is designed to be addictive
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Platforms are always in flux with changing features + algorithms
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You are not seeing all of the backend work that goes into maintaining a successful account
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You are still carrying the belief that more is more.
https://f.convertkit.com/1816627556/959a9be815.js
So how do we balance what’s happening and how we actually want to feel?
First, acknowledge that there is tension between the two. Then, start reframing the beliefs that aren’t working. Next, experiment with new strategies that do (this cheatsheet will help you do exactly this!)
You may be feeling like social media is a burden because you haven’t broken down the process into simpler steps. You might be trying to mirror someone else’s strategy. Or, you are too committed to a strategy that doesn’t work for you.
This is why I created this cheatsheet!
In this simple download, I breakdown why social media is sending you to Crazytown and what I've learned that is going to change everything for you too.
https://f.convertkit.com/7a567aced1/500041d7a0.js
After reading this FREE cheatsheet, you will stop second guessing your social media strategy, start making connections and engage your community with meaningful marketing.
I'm happy to say, my clubbing days are over. Want to do coffee instead? ;)
Jen
P.S. If you can relate ...leave a comment. I love connecting with YOU, the woman behind the curtain....and the screen! :)
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How to Know When to Take Action on a Desire or Wait for More Guidance
Hi there friends!
This week I’m sharing a podcast with you on one of the most common I receive from clients and students:
How do I know when to take action on a desire or goal versus wait for more guidance from my higher self?
Have a listen and let me know what you think!
Major Themes:
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There is tension between waiting and listening to your intuition vs. taking action
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It’s not comfortable
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The difference between basic human tension and battlefield intensity tension
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Transparency regarding my own process choosing my ideal client
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What do we normally do to numb out from the discomfort?
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Instant gratification and instant relief as a way to distract from the discomfort
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Some questions to ponder to give you more insights into your own process
Let me know in the comments what came up for you! xo, Jen
https://f.convertkit.com/def0085359/1391a36671.js
Breaking Down Imposter Syndrome: The Energy Leak of Denial. How it Helps and Keeps Us Stuck in Life and Biz
Deny, Deny, Deny.
One of my many, many, coagulated defaults. No shame here about it.
I needed this ability like I needed air to breathe and water to live. It was impossible for me to accept my circumstances growing up because a child isn’t meant to do that sort of thing alone, so my biology tried all the trigger settings we universally find in our nervous systems:
Be more open and loving (first biological response to pain)
When that doesn’t work: retreat, flee or get away
(though where’s a child really supposed to go?) OR fight (what to do when justified anger and rage isn’t acceptable?)
The default is to then go into FREEZE. Deer in headlights. No where to run. Not possible to fight. The body and nervous system go offline in order to dull out such intense levels of energy that have nowhere to go.
If this happens repeatedly over time?
Feeling and sensation, while just beneath the surface, disappear. Numbness, dissociation, detachment and emptiness become the figural form as identity.
All the previous layers become the ground, looming like sharks in dark waters ready to break through the surface at any moment yet unable to surface within the ever increasing pressurized cook of this holding pattern.
How does one live with this in the world?
Fawn, Submit, People Please, Caretake
Living life like this is a way to function in a world that still at large has no idea about any of these stages. And what becomes of it?
Walking, disembodied zombie parts, parts living for others needs and not their own, perfectionist parts that continuously feel on review, hyper vigilant parts that continuously scan for danger, robot parts that mechanically view the world without feeling love in their hearts.
These parts become the PERSON we take into the world
when our bodies grow into adults and these child parts remain unattended to.
These parts influence our relationships, our interactions, our day to day life, our businesses and as a result the entire world.
We use to thing to deny something meant it went away. It doesn’t.
It only appears to go away yet, as mentioned above, remains lurking beneath the surface, influencing every decision and action we take as a human race.
Deny. Deny. Deny.
If you are still doing it. There’s a good reason.
There was an incredible reason you learned how to do it. You needed it.
But souls inhabiting adult bodies must learn (over tremendous, dedicated, meticulously detailed time) that healing is necessary and has to happen: that there is a wise friend (YOU) on your side.
You have to face the pain. You have to listen deeply on the inside to what these parts didn’t get. To the debilitating process of defaulting over and over again. To the devastating experience of living life offline. To truly live now, we have to give words back to the child who had no words to the loss of being alive. This is your one job. This job alone will naturally change your life and change the world.
Love, Jen
P.S I hope you enjoyed this article! Please like and share with those who will find it helpful :)
And if you’ve found yourself doing the continuous head nod during this post, you may find my Confident CEO Assessment helpful.
It will assess the 4 areas where Imposter Syndrome shows up, one of them being TIME!
P.P.S. We’ve got a lovely group of women already invested in the November Confident CEO Mastery 4 week class “Let go of Self Doubt + Step Into Your Calling”. It starts this Monday, November 5th!
It’s such an important course I’ve created.
You have gifts.
They are meant to be shared.
Period.
If you are finding that second guessing yourself, indecision and fear of visibility are affecting you from rising up into your full self, check out all the details for this November here: bit.ly/CEOMasteryExperience ⭐️🙌🏼
How to Access Your Intuition (and how to practice doing it)
Who says you can't bottle up motivation?
Or put inspiration in a pill?
Actually..they're right. You can't. You've actually got something even better.
Yes, I'm about to tell you something that you may have never realized.
In fact, you may experience a lot of resistance to this idea.
Your ego may begin to throw all sorts of ideas at you:
"Too good to be true".
"Yeah, it's just not that easy".
"That sounds great, but I don't have that!"
"This is a crock of new age b******t!!"
Yes, I get it. I know exactly what it feels like. I'm also on a first name basis with tons and tons of ego thoughts that have gotten in the way of accessing this part of myself.
I also was never taught this growing up or even in young adulthood.
Soooo I'd like for you to practice this resistance antidote for the next few moments.
Resistance Antidote
Pause for a Moment Right Now + Get Centered
Take in a deep breath, exhale.
Do it again.
Ask yourself, “would you be able to listen without judgment for the next few moments?”
Ok... Here we go:)
So what is this magical place that we each have unlimited access to?
That contains all of your drive, all of your passion and all of your purpose?
Well it's literally been right in front of you all along.
Actually it's even better than that.
Your inner drive, passion, and motivation is literally located in your body. It is tangibly located.
You, just by the nature of being a human being, are born with a visceral experience of your INTUITION.
My experience with tapping into this place inside
Years ago, I heard a snippet of an energy exercise from Kristin Morelli where she was leading everyone to tap into the magnet in their stomachs.
While I missed most of the exercise, it gave me a hit and instantly drew me deeper to the physical experience in my body that I am literally being pulled by something inside me to the next moment, level, and energy in my life.
When I checked in, I could feel a motor running, a solid energy source that was intently and gently, pulling me from a gut place into the next course of action in my life.
This force was strong in a solid, dependable, secure and safe way. And really deepening my awareness of this core energy gave me that always beautiful aha recognition that..ahh yesss... Here I am. This is Me.
For some of you, this may be a bit far out right now and that's okay.
Everyone has intuition and if you are feeling frustrated or confused right now about how to access this know that is completely normal. Because this skill is experiential, practical, and real. And you will be able to tell this by practicing to it over time, getting to know it better, and watching how it guides you in your life.
There is a catch
The key though is that this drive, passion and motivation cultivated by your intuition does not work for just everything.
It works when what you are experiencing and moving toward is aligned with you.
No amount of tapping into this inner place within (The True Self) will make any difference if what you are trying or forcing or convincing yourself that you “should” be doing is not really what is resonating and aligned with your heart and your intuitive higher self.
The good news is this is a positive thing! This means there are certain things and experiences and passions and people that are aligned with us and as we keep fine tuning this radar, we will flow into what is meant for us more and more.
How does this apply to life and biz?
Once we understand that we have an internal guidance system inside, an inner radar, we can use it to our advantage. We can use this place within us that we have unlimited access to as a compass that can guide us. We can depend on it. We can use it’s intelligence and 6th sense.
When we start feeling stressed, burnout, anxious or doubting, we can check in and see what our internal guidance is saying.
Do we just need some rest?
Do we need to change directions?
Is our daily schedule in line with our values?
Permission to Practice
It takes practice. Despite having heard this exercise years ago, I still am training my mind to let go and allow access to this guidance within me. I use to think I could just do one exercise and instantaneously “I’d get it.”
Ha! Boy was I wrong, It was even harder for me because growing up I wasn’t allowed to process things, or learn things, or grow. Judgment and shaming comments and lack of awareness kept me trying to push forward into adulthood when what I really needed was permission to breathe and course correct and fail and then learn as a child does.
I needed to be nurtured in a way that allowed me to access my own inner guidance. To trust myself.
This is root cause of self doubt. Learning we can’t trust our internal guidance, our reactions and responses to life.
A Quick Meditation Practice for Accessing Your Unlimited Guidance (Your Intuition)
So I am going to guide you through a little experiential practice:
Take a moment to sit back and relax your body.
Create a willing posture with open arms, feet flat on the floor, palms open, and taking in a deep breath in and out.
As you continue breathing, start to bring your attention to the place a couple inches above you belly button.
You can even touch it lightly with your fingers for a moment or rest the palm of your hand there.
Start to generate a feeling of warmth there that feels like it is directly inside the center of your body.
Allow yourself to notice a solid feeling right in that spot and notice that the more you put your attention on it, the more solid it becomes.
Start to be aware of a "motor" running inside you. You may even notice a pulsing.
Breathe.
Just notice this, allowing any thoughts or judgments to be there and gently guide yourself back to this solid feeling inside your core.
Breathe.
Try this several times throughout the day. Maybe throughout the week.
Practice checking in with it as well and seeing how it feels in different situations.
Get to know it, patiently. With curiosity.
Let me know how it goes! Now that I’ve rediscovered my intuition I love geeking out on it :)
Love, Jen
P.S I hope you enjoyed this article! Please like and share with those who will find it helpful :)
And if you’ve found yourself doing the continuous head nod during this post, you may find my Confident CEO Assessment helpful.
It will assess the 4 areas where Imposter Syndrome shows up, one of them being TIME!
P.P.S. We’ve got a lovely group of women already invested in the November Confident CEO Mastery 4 week class “Let go of Self Doubt + Step Into Your Calling”.
We begin first week in November and it’s such an important course I’ve created.
You have gifts.
They are meant to be shared.
Period.
If you are finding that second guessing yourself, indecision and fear of visibility are affecting you from rising up into your full self, check out all the details for this November here: bit.ly/CEOMasteryExperience ⭐️🙌🏼
6 Secrets Exposing the Myth “There isn’t enough time”.
Do you ever feel like there just isn’t enough time?
Or have this guilty feeling, like you are somehow wasting away what time you have?
Cue the music . . .
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.
“Time” by Pink Floyd
Or ever felt like Hootie?
“Time why you punish me
Like a wave bashing into the shore
You wash away my dreams
Time why you walk away
Like a friend with somewhere to go
You left me crying
Can you teach me 'bout tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow running free
'Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time”.
“Time” by Hootie & the Blowfish
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Seriously though, one of the common concerns/struggles that clients often share is how to manage their time.
Either they always feel like they are running out of it or it feels like different interests and demands compete for their time. They just can’t seem to figure out how to do it “all”.
Between full time jobs, relationships, chores, family events, hobbies and passions: add in a part time job, side gig or a desire for full-time self employment and it can often feel like it’s all just too much to handle (and too much to ask for!)
The good news is time is an illusion (heh heh). I know, I know, you’re probably thinking, “thanks Jen for the trite spiritual statement but how does that help me when I have all these things I want to do and have to do?”
I shall answer: have you ever noticed how time feels relative? It can go by very fast when we are doing something we love and it can drag on when we are doing something that bores us. It can haunt us when are dreading something or slip through our fingers when we are saying a goodbye or see you next time.
Time being relative and an illusion is actually a really good thing because it means that there is more to life than what is going on at the surface. Time isn’t what it seems and what we make it seem at the same time.
The fears we have around time are actually evidence of an energy leak that’s been created from listening to the voices of fear and self doubt, instead of listening to the voice of our True Self.
When we start to recognize what is actually fear and also that there’s a place within us which guides us along our path, it gets easier to let go of control of time.
We begin to accept that timing isn’t up to us and it doesn’t have to be. We start to examine and release more of our beliefs about time and practice building trust in what our true path is and the steps that are laid out in front of us.
We can learn how to discern between what feels right to us and what is just the illusion of time creating a distraction.
We can start to learn what it feels like to be in the flow, or what some people say “being in the right place, at the right time” or “it will happen in the right time.”
Ok enough of the spiritual-philosophical level- let’s get to the practical and concrete so we can integrate it with some of the above spiritual truths.
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How do we find balance between the demands of life and our passions?
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How do we make room for a new entrepreneurial path or career while we are still attached to other present day obligations?
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How do we stop using Time as an excuse or a distraction and instead look deeper at what is really going on, what we are choosing and what we are accepting as our status quo?
Let Go of All Or Nothing Thinking
It doesn’t have to be either/or. We are allowed to be multi-passionate beings with many interests and a slew of needs and desires. That’s what being human is all about. First and foremost, acknowledge that you have a lot of needs and desires and that it’s okay!
One Small Step It
Give a little to each. We forget that small steps add up to something. Have you ever heard of Kaizen? It’s the idea that continuously implementing tiny changes over time will lead to really big changes.
Instead of fighting with time, try giving your attention to several things that are important to you with smaller amounts of time. Maybe you can’t spend 4 hours working on developing your online business, but you can spend an hour 3x a week.
Maybe you don’t have the ability to take off from work for a vacation right now but you can take a half day and do something luxurious for yourself.
Releasing the Need for Instant Gratification
There is a very common illusion in this world and technology has contributed to it: the instant gratification factor. What looks like it takes an instant or what is an overnight success often takes people years and years to get to.
We can never get the full picture about someone else’s life and what steps it took them to get to where they are going unless they tell us. This is why it’s so important to keep talking about this stuff!
Stay in the Moment
Be mindful and in the moment when you are doing one thing. Trying to do many things at once without mindfulness will most certainly lead to that “chicken running with it’s head cut off” feeling.
Maybe you have several demands in a day: try to give your full attention to that 10 minute phone call and that when it’s time to get off and make lunch, really be present with the food and what it looks like, feels like and smells like. Then when you head into your car, instead of worry about the rest of your day, stay present. Take in the sounds, the surroundings, the way it feels to sit in your seat.
Examine What Your Reasons Are For Needing to Get It All Done NOW
This is often what holds us back from moving forward. Because of the perfectionism or all or nothing thinking that our mind likes to propel us in, we often think that if we can’t get “it” done now then we might as well not do it all.
I would be curious here. Is this really an emergency? Is there a reason that you are feeling impatient? Are you looking for instant gratification instead of a realistic timeline for what it is that you want?
Lower Your Expectations
This may seem contradictory to some of the earlier statements which suggested acknowledging all of your needs and sharing your attention. The key is, to do the above with curiosity, experimentation and surrender instead of the expectation that something has to get done which leads to driving or forcing yourself to take it all on.
It also means looking at any superhuman tendencies you are expecting of yourself. This is where perfectionism, imposter syndrome and proving yourself mode come in, consistently raising the bar and telling us we aren’t good enough . . . yet . . . but if we just do this next thing . . .
Yeah right! I call malarkey! When we constantly have parts of ourselves raising the bar will always feel less than if we listen to them. Which means we will constantly take on more than we can handle or beat ourselves up when we can’t do it all. Try choosing reasonable and realistic expectations for yourself instead and see what happens!
Trying out some of the above will have you feeling better. You might even find yourself getting exactly what the Rolling Stones were singing about!
“Timeeee is on my side, yes it is”
I hope you enjoyed this article! Please like and share with those who will find it helpful :)
And if you’ve found yourself doing the continuous head nod during this post, you may find my Confident CEO Assessment helpful.
It will assess the 4 areas where Imposter Syndrome shows up, one of them being TIME!
Jen