Showing up Authentic- Meeting People at the Soul Level
When you focus your attention on the people who are right for you, who show up for you, who get you, there is a resonance because you are ringing at a soul level.
If someone doesn’t get you, they will try to understand you better because they care to. Again, there’s that soul level.
When you pay attention to who is paying attention to you, who is responding to you, who is receiving from you (instead of what or who you need approval from) you are available for real connection; with yourself, partner, clients, friends.
When you connect at a soul level, the moment is full. It’s more than enough.
When you operate from a part of you that is disconnected from soul, it’s never enough.
So much less effort to shift into soul. No need to try, just show up. No need to force a connection, just be and let it bubble to the surface.
There aren’t enough jackasses and assholes and ass clowns and narcissists on this planet that can take away the fact that YOU ARE WORTH THE WHOLE FULL MOMENT.
Look for it. Wait for it. Learn how to discern it. You’re worth it.
Wise Mind, Synchronicity & Inner Guidance 🧠 A Secular Guide to Intuition and Meaning-Making
🔹 What Is Wise Mind?
Wise Mind is a concept from DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy). It refers to the balanced space between two modes of thinking:
🧠 Reasonable Mind – Logical, fact-based, analytical
❤️ Emotion Mind – Driven by feelings, urges, reactivity
Wise Mind is the calm, grounded part of us that knows what’s right — not just logically, but deeply. It’s the integration of your thoughts, emotions, reason and then goes beyond that . It is picking up information that your perception is filtering out and the body senses things beyond words and thoughts too.
Think of it as your internal compass.
🟢 You don’t have to believe in a soul or spirit to know that you sometimes just “know” something — calmly, clearly, without drama.
🔹 Where’s the science?
🔹 What Is Synchronicity?
The term synchronicity was coined by psychologist Carl Jung. It describes a meaningful coincidence— when two events seem linked not by cause, but by meaning. For example: You’re thinking about changing careers — then a stranger starts talking to you about following your passion. Coincidence? Maybe. But also… maybe it means something to *you.*
Synchronicities don’t have to be supernatural signs. They can be:
* Reflections of your subconscious
* Your mind highlighting relevant information
* Personal insights that feel timely or affirming
🟡 Meaning isn’t proof of fate. But noticing what resonates with you can reveal what matters most to you right now.*
🔹 The Higher Self Without the Woo
Some people talk about connecting with their higher self.
If you’re atheist or secular, here’s another way to look at it:
-Your higher self is your best self
-The version of you that’s most aligned with your values
-Less reactive, more intentional
-Rooted in clarity, not fear or ego
This is the same space you’re in when accessing Wise Mind.
It’s not outside of you — it’s within you.
🔹 Signs as Personal Feedback
What some call signs from the universe can also be seen as:
* Your attention noticing what matters
* Confirmation bias (your mind seeing what it's looking for)
* Emotional resonance (something aligns with what you’re feeling or needing)
That doesn’t make the experience less powerful — in fact, it means you’re the one creating meaning. That’s agency.
🔍 You don’t need the universe to be mystical for your mind to be meaningful.*
🔹 Questions to Reflect On:
* What patterns or coincidences have you noticed recently?
* Do they reflect something important you're already thinking about?
* How do you feel when you’re in Wise Mind? What changes?
🔹 Final Thought
You can believe in science, logic, and rationality — and still allow room for inner wisdom, meaningful patterns, and intuition.
It’s not about faith in the unknown — it’s about awareness of the inner known.
You are the meaning-maker. That’s powerful in itself.
What is Somatic Therapy and how does it complement other treatments like IFS & DBT?
What Is Somatic Therapy?
Somatic therapy is an approach that helps you tune into the body as a pathway for healing. “Soma” means body — and in somatic therapy, we understand that the body stores emotional experiences, memories, and patterns of stress or trauma. Sometimes these show up as tension, chronic pain, fatigue, restlessness, or even numbness. Rather than focusing only on talking about experiences, somatic therapy helps you feel into them in a safe, supported way.
This might involve slowing down to notice your breathing, tracking subtle sensations, or gently exploring physical reactions that arise during emotional processing. By reconnecting with the body in this way, we can regulate the nervous system, release stored stress, and build a greater sense of safety and resilience from within.
Somatic therapy is especially helpful when:
* You feel disconnected from your body or emotions
* You’ve “talked through” something but still feel stuck
* You experience anxiety, dissociation, or chronic tension
* You want a more intuitive, embodied approach to healing
You want to heal prolonged pain and suffering stuck in the body and nothing you are trying is working
If you are confused about what your sensations are telling you- the physical, emotional, mental even spiritual may feel blended.
**How Somatic Therapy Complements DBT**
DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) gives you practical skills to regulate emotions, tolerate distress, and be more present in the moment. Somatic work deepens these skills by helping you recognize how emotions show up physically and how the body responds to stress. For example:
* Learning grounding techniques becomes more powerful when you can physically feel your feet on the floor or your breath deep in your belly.
* Distress tolerance tools are easier to apply when you can identify rising body tension early and respond mindfully.
* Emotion regulation becomes more intuitive when you can notice a clenched jaw or tight chest and understand what that’s telling you.
Somatic awareness helps you catch emotional shifts earlier, ride out difficult moments more effectively, and bring DBT skills into real-life, embodied experience.
**How Somatic Therapy Complements IFS**
Internal Family Systems (IFS) explores the different “parts” within you — protective parts, wounded parts, and the wise, calm Self that can lead with compassion. Somatic work adds depth to IFS by helping you feel where those parts live in your body. For example:
* A protective “manager” part might show up as tight shoulders or a buzzing mind
* An “exile” part might feel like a heaviness in the chest or a knot in the stomach
* The Self often feels spacious, grounded, warm, and steady
By combining IFS with somatic awareness, you can build deeper trust with your parts and access healing on multiple levels — not just through understanding, but through felt experience. This integration makes IFS even more powerful and intuitive, especially when working through trauma, grief, or long-standing internal conflicts.
Somatic therapy isn’t about doing it “right” or needing to feel something specific. It’s about slowing down, getting curious, and gently reconnecting with the wisdom your body already holds — in service of deeper healing, regulation, and self-compassion.
Bringing the Body Alive- Interview with Jen Mele LCSW by Candace Williams, OTR/L
Candace is an artist, OT, and adaptive dance instructor currently writing a book titled "Bringing the Body Alive", exploring the powerful link between arts participation and improved health outcomes.
Jen Mele is an artist, therapist, group practice owner and consultant with 25 years of mindfulness and contemplative based studies. and 17 years working with clients as they heal creatively.
Candace is gathering insights from artists, therapists, and art participants to add to her book. Here is my interview where I share my journey as well as viewpoints on arts and the healing process. Please see the transcript below.
How to contact Candace:
Candace Williams, OTR/L Owner & Director, Spirit Rising
(347) 642-0936
www.spiritrisingdance.org
Candace: As much as I hate AI, I will be using it just to get a transcript of what we're saying. It's the only acceptable use, as far as I'm concerned. But let's do this.
Jen M.: Yeah, sure. I'm finding it more and more helpful with certain things. It's pretty amazing. Of course, there are pros and cons, but when we can use it right and helpfully, then I'm all for it.
Candace: I have yet to make my peace with it, but I'm getting there.
Jen M.: I hear you. I was the same way. I didn’t even want a smartphone. I waited forever. I didn’t want texting either when it first came out in college. I really value human connection. But of course, there are pros and cons.
Candace: We have to adapt and evolve. That’s true.
Jen M.: Right. In our work, we’re helping people come back into the moment and ground themselves. That’s the only way I can have the bandwidth for everything.
Candace: That’s true—and making things more accessible too.
Jen M.: Exactly. You’ve got a little assistant now, recording for you.
Candace: So I’ve got six questions for you. First, I’d love for you to share a little about your background and how that led you into the career path you chose.
Jen M.: Sure. My background—really, my own childhood and life experiences—led me to be a seeker from a young age. I naturally went into the helping field. I was always interested in science, yoga, meditation. At first, I thought I’d do astronomy or astrophysics, thinking it might answer some of my big questions. But I quickly realized after one class that doing math equations wasn't it for me, at least not then. So I switched to psychology. It fascinated me.
That time was also when I lost access to my artistic abilities. I was into body-based practices like yoga, but I couldn’t fully implement them. I got my master's in 2010, then in 2015 did yoga teacher training. But after that, my body essentially collapsed. I didn’t realize I had so much physical neglect, so much untreated pain. I couldn't stand to teach yoga classes. During COVID, when I wasn’t traveling and was mostly stuck in one room, I realized I was crawling around on the floor. I hadn't even noticed, because it happened gradually.
Eventually, I found practitioners who helped me understand fascia and connective tissue. I learned I had a connective tissue disorder that had become a benign tumor system. I had a tongue tie, two lip ties, a jaw dislocation from birth. I had never stood up straight until I got those releases. Even now, it’s an ongoing journey. But something beautiful happened after yoga training—I started painting. I had never done that before. I used to do rubber stamping and very controlled things. But suddenly, something in me opened up, and I started painting nonstop for two years. Hundreds of paintings.
Then my body physically worsened, and I had to stop. For the past five years, I've been trying to reconnect to that creativity I physically couldn't sustain. Through it, I learned to help others with body-based practices. After doing therapy, DBT, internal family systems, and trauma-informed approaches, I became more interested in intuitive and expressive art. I now paint with clients, using intuitive techniques, working through discomfort with colors or mistakes. It's about listening to your next intuition. I love doing group work, teaching, and focusing my energy.
I’ve recently hired a team of therapists who are embracing creative therapy. My practice is shifting into something that aligns with my authentic self. I've always been a teacher and speaker. I can't keep repeating the same things all week, so group work makes sense.
Candace: That was great. I loved hearing about how you found painting. It’s such a beautiful, layered path. I saw in your bio that you graduated from BU with a psychology major and a focus in mindfulness?
Jen M.: Yes. I took several mindfulness classes. I even did an online course at Naropa University—it was beautiful. I was always learning about science too. I took a cosmic evolution course that connected multiple sciences. I also took Buddhism, psychopathology, and even a course called Stalking the Wild Mind on extrasensory perception. It doesn't exist at BU anymore, but it was so powerful. My brain has always worked to interconnect things.
As I learned, I realized I was learning about myself. I’d read about an anxiety disorder and realize, “Wait, that’s me.” I leaned into that. I chose internships focused on mindfulness. I found the DBT Center of New Jersey and learned skills I still use today. At the same time, I began to see how some models still treat the client as "other." Because of my past, I connect with a lot of people. Unfortunately, I experienced a lot of pain and trauma. Multiple areas of functioning were impacted. Helping others became my way of helping myself—but my physical condition blocked progress. My nervous system and connective tissue were literally nailed down.
Now I need surgeries to remove growths from my head. It’s been a long journey of learning through experience. I'm honest with clients about it. I think that honesty and authenticity help my practice. I’ve never worn shoes—or probably even socks—to a session in my life.
Candace: And nobody else can do it like you.
Jen M.: Right? Be yourself—everyone else is taken.
Candace: One of my callings is to bring art into academia, especially medical professions. Was there any discussion of integrating the arts in your undergrad or grad programs as a social worker?
Jen M.: Never. And trauma wasn’t taught either. I went to Rutgers and graduated in 2010. I went back to teach in 2015, and even then, trauma wasn’t being taught. None of the students had been exposed to it, and they were about to graduate. It's disappointing how much academia avoids it.
Even now, a school I supervise through didn’t have trauma-informed care listed in their paperwork. I had to ask them to include it. It's 2025. We’re still behind.
That’s why what you’re doing—bringing creativity into the field—is so important. It’s part of decolonizing healing. Therapy isn’t just talking in a box. It’s expression, connection, integration.
Even though I didn’t go to school for art therapy, art emerged naturally when my body felt safe. It became my most powerful healing tool—and something I now share with others. Some clients say, “I can’t paint,” and then the most amazing art comes out. I cry every time. That’s why I do this work.
Candace: That’s beautiful.
Jen M.: Yeah.
Candace: It’s affirming, because I’m on a similar journey. Pain and illness brought me back to painting, too.
Jen M.: Wow. I feel that. It’s the thing that breaks you that also opens you.
Candace: Yep. Absolutely.
Jen M.: Yeah.
Candace: One final question. If you could go back and give your younger self advice as a creative and a healer, what would it be?
Jen M.: That’s such a beautiful question. I’d say: There’s nothing wrong with you. There never was. You don’t have to try so hard to be good, or worthy, or lovable. Your essence is already whole. Even when it feels dark, the light will return.
Candace: That’s beautiful. Thank you so much, Jen.
Jen M.: Thank you.
View your marketing as one of your services
This reframe is something that I am thinking about a lot these days and I hope you might take this with you as you continuously put ourselves out there to get visible with your marketing.
Obviously marketing can feel like a burden to many. Those who are service providers, creatives, people who are more heart centered, many of whom just want to do their services and create. We just want to get on with it, right?
However, to create a sustainable, long-term business , we need consistent marketing otherwise new people won't know that we exist and people who have found us won’t understand what we do. We have to keep sharing our message, sharing what we're doing so that the people who really connect with our work get the opportunity to learn about us and see our integrity . And the more people that we can reach, we can find more people. Not everyone is gonna connect with us or our voice or need necessarily what we're offering in the moment.
I'm not talking about finding just like more, more, more. Not this capitalistic approach without regard for humanity and service, right?
Like this is more about multiple truths- the more people you meet, the more likely you will link up with your ideal clients AND you don’t need tons of people or to convince people to have a successful business .
Again, putting yourself out there so you can meet whatever it may be, a hundred of your right people, 500, a thousand, 5,000 right? This is more than enough most of the time within wise mind goals , for a solo practitioner, small group practice or even a larger business.
So the whole thing is we just need to keep doing this. The number of clients you have is directly related to the efforts you have put in. The other piece is that not only we're reaching people, but it's really, we're reaching people over time. So as we're putting our marketing out, you know, different content like articles or workshops or videos, podcasts, we're creating this bank of information that exists, right? It exists to be seen over time, over and over.
Most future clients you have still yet to meet and will be seeing your content at a time different from now, right? The pressure to instantly have a high success rate to fill your session and practice, comes with real fears like the discomfort of being vulnerable and putting yourself out there, finances, imposter syndrome, need to build skills and others.
Ofcourse, you know where I may be going with this. Corporate media and marketing, technology and social media give this illusion and have systemically taught that customers need to act on instant gratification marketing and prey on the ability to manipulate said customers in any way possible in order to get to the goal, profit.
Higher numbers, more and more people, going viral, nonstop selling of your offers, using aspirational marketing, always tying selling with emotional and personal stories….you know I had fallen into using some of these myself, tho not consistently as it never felt authentic to me and I would find myself never following through with business advice that I learned felt unethical and was not in line with my values.
The dopamine hits and the instant gratification and the intermittent reinforcement that you have grown up with if you live in America for sure (and many other countries as well) all these things lead to feeling more addictive to the dopamine or the excitement or then the fear, right?
The fear of rejection or not getting enough attention, the comparisons, the FOMO, all these things like lend to a nervous system that is, you know, geared towards short-term gratification.
The brain is thinking, oh, we can get what we need exactly from this moment. And the reality is that some of our needs have to be met today, like eating and sleeping and taking care of ourselves in the day, but other ones are built up over time.
And it's the accumulation and compounding of that.
This is something that was always so hard for to do in my business having such a fear of abandonment and rejection from an early age that really could play out for me online.
And it's taken me a lot of time to understand the evolution of marketing and content and that it's not about getting the response at the moment. It's about building your body of work so that it's there and that you have a lot of resources.
And this is a service, right? Even if you're producing a product, like you might think, oh, I'm an artist, I'm producing a product of art.
But to me, and you might think this too that art and art making is a service.
And then the sharing of your art, the sharing of your content is a service as well.
And then there’s your customer service, right?
Every business owner is really in the business of service because you have customer service, right?
And we forget this, and if we could start to think of our marketing as one branch of our service.
You want to have what your service is that you are getting paid for. And then marketing is essentially your free service that you’re giving away. And some people are just gonna get what they need from the free service and then other people are going to want to move further.
And we don't have to force or control that or need to. Because there is enough people. And if you are skilled and ethical at what you do you will connect with loyal people and build real relationships that work for everyone.
You just keep showing up and providing the best content you can come up with today.
And as I've mentioned recently, it is that you’re practicing showing up imperfectly and keeping it simple. You don’t need all of the expensive things.
I always have the habit, like I remember I did this ASMR video with one of my paintings bought these mics, thinking one video with a popular arms artist was going to bring in tons of people. Turns out the artist didn’t even link me in the episode description, which I think was short-sighted. Of course I wanted to do it right, this person had exceptional quality, but it was a $100 I spent and I have never used those mics again.
Now maybe they'll come out again, but I guess what I'm trying to say is sometimes you buy things and it just doesn't work out. But sometimes you’re buying things because you’re trying to make it seem more professional than it needs to be.
Now, if you love this stuff and you want to learn and have the funds, than great. This is really a message for people who are feeling overwhelmed by marketing, putting yourselves out there and are just stalling because doing it perfectly just feels more important (I get it.) .
And I'm just talking about how, you know, you can keep it simple. I'm coming on podcasts and often recording a voice memo or I'm recording myself on a video and I might be pulling this audio from the video so that people can listen. This article started as an audio and I have since edited it so there is new material in here and some of the same. Some of my audios have background noise. All of this stuff I would've not posted years ago.
But what I'm finding is people are still finding value, and that is what's important. And there'll be some people who probably bothered by the noises and stuff. I get it. You know, I have a lot of sensory stuff, but the message will ring true to, to those people.
And the idea is, you know, can we provide the service of marketing and not be so attached to the outcome, the client or the money?
I think it’s really hard when you are depending on the money and when it starts to put pressure on you business building. This is where I think having another job or having some way to feel supported will help you share and sell your services freely without needing that outcome immediately.
It doesn't mean you don't have that general outcome. Obviously we all have to make money, we're thinking about this, but it's, you know, in the moment, right?
Being able to come from that place of purpose and, you know, serving others and being that service provider, providing that customer service, providing that experience, and then those people who really feel connected or want more or need more or can at some point or later want that accountability, then it's just going to naturally move in that direction.
You don't have to force people, you don't have to use fomo, you don't have to use over excitement, These are all things you and I naturally pick up because it is ingrained into us. I would rather people make a decision about working with me from a wise mind place.
Like, if you feel like you connect with me or the work and you know, then cool. Great. You know what I'm saying? So these are my thoughts for today. I hope that you found this helpful. And I hope this helps you create a piece of marketing or content for yourself today. Your creation, your art, whatever it is, however long it is, if takes you a minute or if it takes you an hour or five hours, it's all good and it's okay. Your people want to see it.
Please leave your comments or questions below. I'll talk to you all soon. This is Jen Mele, LCSW, RYT. Have a great day.
Is your business designed for growth?
When you create a business plan with your inner guidance, it will lift you up.
It's an intention that propels you towards the highest possible outcome.
It's a foundation that helps you focus on your heart centered goals and desires, knowing what's a priority and what's a distraction.
A business plan is not an attempt to control outcomes that cannot be controlled.
It is an intentional action oriented plan of what you decide is in your control for the next several months.
It’s flexible, experimental and organic.
It’s intuitive and alive.
Most importantly it must emphasize YOU, YOUR needs & WHAT LEVEL you are currently are at in your business.
In my jam-packed article The Ultimate Business Plan Guide I'm sharing every important facet with you for building a new business (or pivoting your own). I want you to really step out and turn your business vision into a successful reality this time.
Each of the components are important because I think you deserve to know why you are doing what you are doing and how it will benefit you, strategically and spiritually.
I know there is a lot of transition, change and uncertainty right now as well.
So even if you don't know where to begin, have several business ideas floating in your head or you are pivoting, you can always play around with the guide as an exercise in clarity.
Allow your brain and heart to play out your goals. It's good for the soul & creates the space for your inner wisdom to direct you to your next steps toward success.
Of course, if you are ready to start your business or pivot your business' marketing plan/direction, using this business plan will give you the jumpstart you've been waiting for.
Find a copy of the business plan template here which you can use with the guide.
Take it one day at a time and give yourself permission to take a step towards your dreams today :)
xo,
Jen
P.S. Supporting the creative, empathic, intelligent, solopreneur is my passion! I've said it before but you are all some of the best people I know. Comment below and let me know how I can help!Are