What To Do When You're Feeling Stuck In the Same Patterns
This rich and metaphorical poem is one of my favorites over the years. Take a peek and let me know what you think!
Autobiography in 5 Chapters, A Poem by Portia Nelson
Chapter One.
I walk down the street. There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It still takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter Two.
I walk down the same street. There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I’m in the same place! But it isn’t my fault and it still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter Three.
I walk down the same street. There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it there. I still fall in. It’s a habit!My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.
Chapter Four.
I walk down the same street. There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.
Chapter Five.
I walk down a different street.
There was an interesting commentary on Elephant Journal by Barbara Becker where she states that her Meditation Teacher explains to her that there is a Chapter 6.
I find this to be really interesting because it has been almost 8 years since I originally read this poem.
After my own personal journey and witnessing it among clients, this sixth chapter, according to Becker and her teacher, is that once we head down the new road, there is another hole, and we fall in again.
I have to admit at first glance reading this I didn't really want to hear it. I mean, who wants to keep falling into holes? It's exhausting right?
I want to get to the road where there are no holes. Where the streets are paved with gold like my Uncle would say.
And yet, as I continue on my own path I keep seeing that yes, there are always some more holes.
It doesn't mean I don't get better at climbing out .And I find that there happens to be a lot more time spent on certain roads now without the holes.
But inevitably, there will be ups and downs. It's not about having those downs that means we have done something wrong.
It's how can we be more compassionate to ourselves, more curious and get more information about what's happened and how we can apply it (gently) to what comes next.
Image by Sherry Riter of www.theredheadriter.com
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The New Rules I Live By...I'm Breaking the Old Ones!
Paint can bring me into the micromoments like no other. For over 15 years I've studied intuition and practiced mindfulness. My first introduction to mindfulness was in undergrad at Boston University when I took a Buddhism course. My first introduction to intuitive being was at another course there called Stalking the Wild Mind. For many years I applied and learned and experienced these practices in relation to my own healing journey and as my role as therapist. It wasn't until my paint awakening happened though that I realized that my true vessel for all of these teachings is in art making and painting. What a surprise and what a gift!!!
Available 14”x18” Acrylic on Matboard. “Life is a Surreal Dream”
Shop this painting and others here
Here are some of the new "rules" I live by:
The freedom to get things dirty.
The willingness to listen to what my body is telling me.
The acknowledgement that my true self knows best.
The radical idea that the answers I need are within me.
The magical perspective that everything happens in the right timing.
The surrendering practice of expressing, trusting and feeling as the gateway to connection and meaning.
The life-changing phenomenon that whatever is in me can be expressed creatively in front of me.
And so many more . . .
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Feeling Too Attached to an Outcome? What You're Waiting for May Not Be What You Think
My inner child likes to play with all different mediums, like paint pens and natures paint brush.
Inspiration is everywhere. Following what catches my interest in the moment is a great way to play.
I also have to let go of being attached to the inspiration. Sometimes I start something and lose interest. Other times it just flows out of me. Not forcing things is a good rule of thumb for me: in art, in life, in heart.
It's a practice. It's a practice that shows up in the art.
For it is a reflection of my life, my psyche, the different parts of me.
There have been many, many, times I have held on so tightly and then judged myself for doing so.
It wasn't until I had compassion for why I would've learned to hold on that tightly in the first place, that some of that tension started to ease up.
Compassion was the answer. It's always the answer.
Of course!
That holding on tightly to fear actually is a survival instinct. It doesn't mean that I am bad or wrong.
It's a paradox.
Yet, one that makes sense. Not one of those paradoxes that are really polarized black and white stances in disguise.
No, this paradox is filled with gentleness and softening.
It is about staying curious. About watching. About gaining new information more and more each day.
And it's the same with the painting process. Each painting is a little journey into itself.
"Thai garden in the night" 13" x 16" ACRYLIC ON MATBOARD
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Guest Blog: Artist Paula Callejas "Painting a Diary of Emotions"
By Paula Callejas
This year was tough; it has been the hardest year of my life. I´ve felt the deepest sadness, the most horrible void and I felt so lost…. And then someone said, “You paint right? Just paint”
And so I did. I didn´t study art, but I´ve painted all my life, enjoyed it all my life… I always regarded it as a hobby, as something extra I did… but I never thought about it as therapy; and I certainly never saw myself as a real artist.
Regardless, I followed the advice, and there I was painting midst my pain; and somehow I felt better. For some reason when I painted I was myself and everything took a brighter shade. I realized then that I wanted –no, needed- to paint every day, as much as I could.
So I grabbed a sketchbook, and had it next to me at all times, to write, to draw, to paint, to vent. At first I was a little blocked,so I started to follow simple prompts I found on instagram; little drawings…. And then I found the 100 day project. I saw it as a good way to commit to painting, to improve my skills, practice, get better.
It wasn’t a big risk, a daily small watercolor painting,… but I did it and it felt great when I was done. I was on a roll and I had improved so much in so little time. It gave me a boost, and about three months later of painting and painting, in the month of September, I joined a challenge by Passion Color Joy in which we would create a piece of art continuously every day for the whole month.
In my case I decided to create paintings of women and connect them all by always having some flower present in the composition. (You can see them all under the hashtag #30girlswithflowers) This time I felt more confident specially because I felt different, I now feel my truth is that I am an artist; painting is my passion and if I want to be true to myself I have to pursue it.
So with this new found confidence I decided on a slightly bigger format and a different medium, I decided on more hours per piece per day; and this time I would show my work proudly.
by Paula Callejas
I found a local shop that agreed to hang my pictures daily as I pained them. It was so exciting to see them gradually fill the wall. And on the 30th day I stood in front of my project and was shocked. It was a diary… all of my emotions, all of my sadness, happiness, calmness, disdain or whatever was in their eyes. For everyone to see.
BY Paula Callejas
But I don’t care if my emotions are displayed. Now I feel proud and happy that I´m brave enough to display my pieces without having to “cure” my work , choosing my favorites or correcting my mistakes. And I feel whole and happy when someone connects to one of my pieces, appreciates the emotion and even more wants to take them home.
It´s crazy for me to admit that so much had to break, and that I needed so much pain to acknowledge my passion. To respect myself for who I am and what I love.
But it´s true: I don´t know if I would have ever pursued my passion if my life hadn´t crumbled before me; so I´m thankful for this really ugly year, and I´m really really thankful that I am an artist and I have my art to go to.
I´m thankful I get to put myself in a piece of art and that now I am brave enough to own it and show it to the world.
To find out more about Paula Callejas and see more of her work, you can find her on her website and Instagram.
xoxo, Jen
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A Picture Journey of the Painting “Take me to Your Sea Garden”
Im still not sure if this piece is finished! There is something urging me to “fill in this blank space.”
I actually don’t feel it as much when I look at it digitally but when I see it in person the craving is calling.
This is a lesson in patience and sitting “with”. Sometimes I launch into adding to a painting adding additional layers.
And while there are no mistakes, I sometimes wish I would take the new idea onto the next canvas.
Other times, and really most of the time, I’m happy that I followed the impulses because I will create something that has more depth than the original!
Healing the Child Within
So I said I'd have a story regarding these watercolors that I posted a few pics back. They are from a very long time ago. I received them when I was a child, most likely early 90's, but they definitely seem older than that which makes them even cooler..retro! They were a part of a Christmas gift from a stranger, as were often many of our gifts because the local church would organize gift giving for needy families.
I always received art supplies as gifts because I was always creating as a child. It's where I didn't think. I could just be. I remember feeling really embarrassed and feeling a lot of shame receiving these gifts.
I always felt different and like I was living this secret life in a wealthy and middle class town. I realize now that this experience was not only something that I was powerless over, but that the shame was there because I felt there was something wrong with me and I felt pitied and pitied myself. I put these watercolors away, only from time to time seeing them as I moved and reorganized art supplies over the years.
I've had a revival and truly feel whole as I embrace myself as the artist, creator, and maker that I truly am which gives me so much joy. I'm so grateful that I've held onto them because now I have this meaningful story behind them. I also see that what is my true essence can never be forgotten. It just wasn't the right time. Now that I've unburdened many layers of pain, my inner child and inner artist have been awakened.
I wish I saved the note that came with these watercolors, but the memory will be forever embedded in my mind. It was very kind. I can picture now. A handwritten note that said they were used by a real artist and now they were being passed down to me.
I recently paid it forward in my own way. A teacher from an inner city school in Chicago asked me if I would send my art scraps to her and her students so they could make Valentines!
I jumped at the opportunity and can’t wait to see what they make! Stay tuned for pics:)
Do you want to fine tune your Inner Radar with crystal clear clarity for Love, Wealth + Freedom? My Free Start Up Guide Includes my 5 Star Process To Become the Intuitive Rockstar of your #5StarLife! This process transformed my life and is the foundation of everything I do in my life & biz! ⭐️🙌🏼👯♀️
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