What is the true meaning of confidence?

There have been many times when I’ve heard the word confidence and cringed.

I also remember feeling insulted when a relationship coach years ago told me that we should work on my confidence.  

And yet, why did parts of myself give confidence such a bad wrap?  Why was I having these reactions?

Unpacking this, I realized part of this was because when I examined the word confidence, it drudged up all these past memories of when I felt insecure, less than and unconfident.

In particular, when I was a teenager and in my 20’s. (Yeah, you know what I’m talking about!)

Hearing and seeing the word confidence was like poking a finger into an open wound.  

Especially when I all I wanted was to feel better and have all the things it appeared that confident people had.

However, I learned repeatedly that it didn’t matter what I tried to fix on the outside or how much I tried to change my thinking, I always ended up feeling more ashamed of myself. 

Another reason demystified: I’d unknowingly glazed over the experience of confidence with the projections of cockiness, popularity and superficiality.

For someone who felt as insecure as I did, the word confidence felt like a cartoonish exaggeration because it was so far out of my comfort zone.

And an even deeper reason for the aversion to confidence was that it seemed like something I could “get” or “achieve” or “become”. 

Trying to get somewhere from a place of trying to get something always kicks up my shame even more because it reinforces the feeling of not being enough. 

So striving for the illusive confidence was just making me feel...more unconfident :/

It wasn’t until I recognized in my heart the true meaning of confidence after putting myself out there again and again in my business.

Not the meaning that younger parts of my childhood self had adopted.

Not the meaning media or magazines or commercials portrayed. 

No, true confidence in business (and in any area) is an internal state.

But more than that, it’s the place where everything that’s consistent, wise, clear and calm stems from within us. 

True confidence is connection to self.

True confidence means letting go of putting faith in something outside myself.

True confidence is already who I am.

I don’t need to do anything to become more confident. It is already my true nature.

To allow my true nature to shine through, all I need to do is remove the layers that are blocking that confidence.

Which means letting go of what’s not working.

The more that is stripped away, the more confidence naturally appears as my centered state.

.

I must surrender to the place within myself that is that authenticity.

Because true confidence is authenticity.

My doubt about confidence being my true nature...

My doubt that I won’t be led more deeply into this true nature...

My doubt that convinces me I need to find something outside of myself to be more confident...

is the only thing that is unclear about the real me.

Not my strengths and gifts.

Self doubt exists when I don’t trust me, the me that rests in truth.

Real confidence comes from consistently practicing letting go of any doubt that I can gain confidence anywhere outside of the real me.

This is why first and foremost I practice a spiritual foundation in my business.

Because when I try to do things the other way, things get nutty...fast. 

Comparisons become like fast growing weeds.

Fear of failure and rejection too. 

And what do you know, I’ve now psyched myself out and distracted myself from my calling when I take this path.

Not because I’m not good enough, but because I’m listening to the voices that are substituting their own answers with faulty programming.

Instead is the wise voice of the centered, confident, higher self. 

If you’d like support in deepening your connection to your inner confidence so you can step into your calling, check out my 4 week group coaching experience for women entrepreneurs ready to embody their true inner leader, click here!

The Secret I Learned About Burnout While Committing to Longterm Business Success

I never realized how important having an anchor in my business was until I spent enough time winging it.

Basing my business on passion, creativity, emotion + inspiration was actually keeping me stuck in a pattern of hustle-instant gratification-coast-bumpy road-panic-hustle {repeat}

The pattern above is a recipe for burnout. But the problem was, not the passion, creativity and inspiration {these are still some of the biggest ingredients there are for the reasons why I have a business and the message behind my brand).

It was my unconscious attachment to quick wins, adrenaline hits and struggle that would have me chasing shiny paper endlessly, leaving me with whiplash from leaping left to right, hungry for the next thing that was going to be the answer. 

I had no idea I was doing this. Caught in a cycle of constantly proving myself I was using the wins as evidence I could or had "made" it. 

I was taking the whole process of developing a business as proof of my worth and didn't realize that the struggles I was experiencing were normal for where I was at.

And also that there were solutions, completely independent of my worth that I couldn't see because I was too busy worrying/scheming/comparing.  

Of course, if you've been following my work for awhile, you know that whenever we focus on something outside of ourselves, or another way of looking at this is whenever a younger part of ourself is running the show, this "why" will never last.

It is fleeting, transient, and based on a past that happened already and a fantasy of a future that hasn't happened yet because it comes from a younger part developed through survival, not presence. 

The up and down, feast and famine, excitement-anxiety-burn out dynamic wasn't a result of there being something wrong with me or what I had to offer. 

It was the parts of myself that were continuously trying to protect me from being hurt so they would talk me out of getting visible, asking for help and trusting. 

What goes up must come down and adrenaline is no different. What was left of an upregulated nervous system...was the come down: the fatigued, depressed, side. 

After experiencing these ups and downs one too many times, I noticed that I couldn't remain complacent with it anymore. My awareness had finally caught up to the pattern and the witness within me could see it for what it was.

A smoke screen, keeping me from putting myself out there and also avoiding the difficult tasks required for any new learning curve. 

All those adult skills, grit, discernment, self trust, discipline, clarity where diamonds in the rough, just waiting to be mined.

When I finally got behind my why in my business, I was tapping into something much deeper. Something substantial.

To truly show up and create something that is long lasting, I needed to show up for the place within myself that is that deep.  

Not just to make a quick sale to pay a bill or even long term financial stability (though nothing shabby about either of these things!). 

Not just to accomplish something for the day, prove to myself I could do something, feel the adrenaline hit of a new tactic learned or distract and numb out from all the worry about making all these free business webinars I was signing up for (one example of how the frenzy keeps us chasing instead of taking authentic action). 

The why lies within the true self. 

Here are a few of my deepest whys:

To share wisdom.

To alleviate and end suffering. 

To protect children and keep them safe

To educate and bring awareness to the wounded adult population so that they can pass this wisdom down to the next generations. 

These are rooted deeply in who I am and the journey I have been through. 

Maybe they will evolve, yet they are like strong roots keeping me grounded when the next shiny thing comes along. 

With a why, I have a foundation for why I do what I do even when something gets difficult. 

It also aligns me with others who are likeminded and feel the same way. 

Which means, when I see opportunities for help, support, and collaboration I will be much more likely to intuitively take action with people who are the right fit for me which equals saving time, energy and usually that equates to money as well!

Give it a try. Instead of hungrily awaiting the next thing to come along that will satisfy that unsatiable yearn within, deepen into your own why and discover what it is you truly value. 

It can be simply, taking care of your family or creating art for the joy of it but look within and ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing. 

This is the first step in getting your business out into the world on solid ground where you are consciously driving what is in your control towards the life and business of your dreams. 

Curious to know how proving yourself mode may be showing up as energy leaks, missed opportunities and feast + famine cycles in your biz? Grab the Confident CEO Assessment for FREE here. 

xo, Jen

Be a Money BFF! Are you good friends with your money?

Do you have a codependent relationship with money?

Think about this a minute. 

If a good friend stopped by unexpectedly, how would you treat her?

If that same friend had to leave another time at short notice, how would you feel?

If a good friend had to cancel plans, change plans last minute, or was going through a hard time, how would you react?

(Keep in mind we are talking about healthy, balanced relationships where both people give & receive)

Let's talk about scenario 1. 

Your friend shows up unexpectedly, you are open & happy to see her. You invite her in, ask her if she needs anything & take it from there. 

Your friend has to unexpectedly leave. You enjoyed your time with her and could even see spending time longer, but you totally understand, she has something else she just has to do. You know you will see her & speak to her again soon, in the right time & the right place. 

Another day, your friend has to cancel plans. You are disappointed because you wanted to see her, but you can relate, you've had to do that once and awhile before too. You may other plans. 

Another time, your friend has to cancel last minute. You are hurt because you were really looking forward to the plans. You are disappointed because you miss your friend. So you share how you feel & your friend listens. She gets it, apologizes, & listens. You feel better & don't hold a grudge or a resentment.

Scenario 2

Your friend shows up unexpectedly, you are caught off guard because you weren't expecting her. You are happy she's there, but you are distracted because you were in the middle of doing something else. You expect her to understand this without telling her how you feel. 

Your friend has to unexpectedly leave. You feel hurt & abandoned & rejected. Why did she bother coming if she knew she had to leave so soon? Doesn't she know that you dropped everything to hang out with her and now she is just going to leave? 

Another day, your friend has to cancel plans. You stew in your mind about what type of friend she is & how you can't trust her. You build up future walls & how you are going to not make her as much of a priority in the future. You give her the cold shoulder the next time she calls and don't answer. 

Another time, your friend has to cancel last minute. You can't believe this happened again. What type of friend is this? You decide in your mind you are cutting off the friendship until she makes it up to you. You don't even know what this would look like but your emotions make you feel like this is right. 

Now reread the scenarios & this time, imagine that money is the friend we are talking about here? 

How is your money relationship similar or not to the above? 

How are you treating money? 

Is money like a good friend to you? 

Leave your thoughts in the comments & tell me..what is your relationship with money!!⭐️🙌🏼👯‍♀️

xoxo, 

Jen

There is Enough Time To Receive Exactly What You Need

When we allow life to be a process, we start to see that things that were hard at one point, get to be easy at another. 

Life isn't so black and white. 

It's not all or nothing. 

If something doesn't feel right today, we can wait for another day. 

Contrary to what some might say, there is time. 

There is time to listen to what's inside of you. 

There is time to listen to what you need. 

There is no rush or urgency that will lead you to peace. 

Yes, you can make a decision now to choose peace. 

Yet, peace will come when peace will come. 

It starts with allowing peace in now during the process. 

To let what is happening happen. 

That doesn't mean we don't practice discernment or have no boundaries. 

It means, we notice and observe and then make the choice from our True Self. 

xo, 

Jen

Knowing Your Why in Business is More Important Than Your How

Your why is the foundation of WHY you are doing what you are doing. In order to have a fulfilled life and a sustainable business we need to know the true reason and purpose behind our message. 

If we don't, then when bumps in the road come, frustration ensues, and we are exhausted or drained, we won't want to continue. 

Knowing our why keeps us connected to our Rebel Radar Self so that if we've had a hard or long day, we know we will wake up in the morning and our purpose will still be there. 

In addition, having our sole purpose as spiritual entrepeneurs to be focused on money will never fly in the end. Am I right? 

Money is energy, it's numbers, it's neutral. It's the icing and often ingredients for the cake but YOU are the warmth. You bring the love. You bring the connection. That's the difference!

How I Started My Abundantly Inspired Biz!!

Early Bird Enrollment for my Abundantly Inspired Biz Course goes until this Sunday at 12am eastern!

I thought I would share a bit more about how and why I started my business and WHY I am so PASSIONATE about helping other creatives and healers just like you!!

Check out the video below to learn more about why I LOVE having my OWN business and love you having one too!!

[youtube=://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1G5LXQAkSQ&w=640&h=480]

Also, here are a few ideas about money/abundance/marketing.business that you may or may not have heard of....

Money is currency and currency is energy

Money is an exchange

Instead of I can’t or there's no way I could do _________ change it to there must be a way (even if you don't know how, ESPECIALLY when you don't know how!)

Selling is excited sharing about something you are authentically passionate about and is in line with your values.

Free Content is the form of communication/vessel that is providing the value to the client and customer and building trust

Products & Services are paid vessels that support a person in having an experience, form of energy, healing. 

Marketing is authentically attracting people who are in need of/actively seeking/ what your product or service is.

All of these aspects of business are vessels. They ONLY successfully align with a fulfilled life when they are containers for source led guidance.

When the guidance comes first from within then the outside mechanics come more naturally.

A balance of feminine & masculine business strategies are necessary to be successful AND feel good. 

You don’t need a huge following, a certain number of people. You are ready to put yourself out there, NOW!

In the last year....

4 trips (Italy here I come!!)
Assisted and taught at a retreat with my art mentor
A new art studio
An entire office upgrade
A new medicine for my myalgia
Three exhibitions
8k followers on Instagram
A tribe I love
Monthly 80 min massages with a masseuse I love!
A new car with more amenities and cheaper than my old one
Conquered my fear of online speaking
and more!!

I share this with you because YOU CAN DO IT TOO. 

To get in on the early bird discount, you can sign up right here to grab your spot!!

To secure your early bird spot, click here for the split payment plan

For the full payment plan click here

Do you have questions? Email me at ask@jennifermele.com and we can chat!

Love you guys and I'm here for you! Let's do this!

xo

P.S. Did you catch the video? Here it is again : 

[youtube=://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1G5LXQAkSQ&w=640&h=480]

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