The Secret I Learned About Burnout While Committing to Longterm Business Success
I never realized how important having an anchor in my business was until I spent enough time winging it.
Basing my business on passion, creativity, emotion + inspiration was actually keeping me stuck in a pattern of hustle-instant gratification-coast-bumpy road-panic-hustle {repeat}
The pattern above is a recipe for burnout. But the problem was, not the passion, creativity and inspiration {these are still some of the biggest ingredients there are for the reasons why I have a business and the message behind my brand).
It was my unconscious attachment to quick wins, adrenaline hits and struggle that would have me chasing shiny paper endlessly, leaving me with whiplash from leaping left to right, hungry for the next thing that was going to be the answer.
I had no idea I was doing this. Caught in a cycle of constantly proving myself I was using the wins as evidence I could or had "made" it.
I was taking the whole process of developing a business as proof of my worth and didn't realize that the struggles I was experiencing were normal for where I was at.
And also that there were solutions, completely independent of my worth that I couldn't see because I was too busy worrying/scheming/comparing.
Of course, if you've been following my work for awhile, you know that whenever we focus on something outside of ourselves, or another way of looking at this is whenever a younger part of ourself is running the show, this "why" will never last.
It is fleeting, transient, and based on a past that happened already and a fantasy of a future that hasn't happened yet because it comes from a younger part developed through survival, not presence.
The up and down, feast and famine, excitement-anxiety-burn out dynamic wasn't a result of there being something wrong with me or what I had to offer.
It was the parts of myself that were continuously trying to protect me from being hurt so they would talk me out of getting visible, asking for help and trusting.
What goes up must come down and adrenaline is no different. What was left of an upregulated nervous system...was the come down: the fatigued, depressed, side.
After experiencing these ups and downs one too many times, I noticed that I couldn't remain complacent with it anymore. My awareness had finally caught up to the pattern and the witness within me could see it for what it was.
A smoke screen, keeping me from putting myself out there and also avoiding the difficult tasks required for any new learning curve.
All those adult skills, grit, discernment, self trust, discipline, clarity where diamonds in the rough, just waiting to be mined.
When I finally got behind my why in my business, I was tapping into something much deeper. Something substantial.
To truly show up and create something that is long lasting, I needed to show up for the place within myself that is that deep.
Not just to make a quick sale to pay a bill or even long term financial stability (though nothing shabby about either of these things!).
Not just to accomplish something for the day, prove to myself I could do something, feel the adrenaline hit of a new tactic learned or distract and numb out from all the worry about making all these free business webinars I was signing up for (one example of how the frenzy keeps us chasing instead of taking authentic action).
The why lies within the true self.
Here are a few of my deepest whys:
To share wisdom.
To alleviate and end suffering.
To protect children and keep them safe
To educate and bring awareness to the wounded adult population so that they can pass this wisdom down to the next generations.
These are rooted deeply in who I am and the journey I have been through.
Maybe they will evolve, yet they are like strong roots keeping me grounded when the next shiny thing comes along.
With a why, I have a foundation for why I do what I do even when something gets difficult.
It also aligns me with others who are likeminded and feel the same way.
Which means, when I see opportunities for help, support, and collaboration I will be much more likely to intuitively take action with people who are the right fit for me which equals saving time, energy and usually that equates to money as well!
Give it a try. Instead of hungrily awaiting the next thing to come along that will satisfy that unsatiable yearn within, deepen into your own why and discover what it is you truly value.
It can be simply, taking care of your family or creating art for the joy of it but look within and ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing.
This is the first step in getting your business out into the world on solid ground where you are consciously driving what is in your control towards the life and business of your dreams.
Curious to know how proving yourself mode may be showing up as energy leaks, missed opportunities and feast + famine cycles in your biz? Grab the Confident CEO Assessment for FREE here.
xo, Jen
An Exercise To Access Unlimited Motivation
Who says you can't bottle up motivation?
Or put inspiration in a pill?
Actually..they're right. You can't. You've actually got something even better.
Yes, I'm about to tell you something that you may have never realized.
In fact, you may experience a lot of resistance to this idea.
Your ego may begin to throw all sorts of ideas at you:
"Too good to be true".
"Yeah, it's just not that easy".
"That sounds great, but I don't have that!"
"This is a crock of new age b******t!!"
Yes, I get it. I know exactly what it feels like. I'm also on a first name basis with tons and tons of ego thoughts that have gotten in the way of accessing this part of myself.
So I'd like for you to practice this resistance antidote for the next few moments.
Take in a deep breath, exhale.
Do it again.
Ask yourself to listen without judgment for the next few moments......
Ok... Here we go:)
So what is this magical place that we each have unlimited access to that contains all of the drive you could ever want, all of the passion you could ever desire, and all the purpose you could ever express?
Well it's literally been right in front of you all along.
Actually it's even better than that.
Your inner drive, passion, and motivation is literally located in your body. It is tangibly located. You, just by the nature of being a human being, are born with a visceral experience of it.
Recently, I heard a snippet of an energy exercise from Kristin Morelli where she was leading everyone to tap into the magnet in their stomachs. While I missed most of the exercise, it gave me a hit and instantly drew me deeper to the physical experience in my body that I am literally being pulled by something inside me to the next moment, level, and energy in my life. When I checked in, I could feel a motor running, a solid energy source that was intently and gently, pulling me from a gut place into the next course of action in my life. This force was strong in a solid, dependable, secure and safe way. And really deepening my awareness of this core energy gave me that always beautiful aha recognition that..ahh yesss... Here I am. This is Me.
For some of you, this may be a bit far out right now and that's okay. Anyone and Everyone has this and if you are feeling frustrated or confused right now about how to access this know that that is completely normal. Because this skill is experiential, practical, and real. And you will be able to tell this by literally practicing it, getting to know it better, and watching how it guides you in your life.
So I am going to guide you through a little experiential practice:
Take a moment to sit back and relax your body.
Create a willing posture with open arms, feet flat on the floor, palms open, and taking in a deep breath in and out.
As you continue breathing, start to bring your attention to the place a couple inches above you belly button.
You can even touch it lightly with your fingers for a moment or rest the palm of your hand there.
Start to generate a feeling of warmth there that feels like it is directly inside the center of your body.
Allow yourself to notice a solid feeling right in that spot and notice that the more you put your attention on it, the more solid it becomes.
Start to be aware of a "motor" running inside you. You may even notice a pulsing.
Breathe.
Just notice this, allowing any thoughts or judgments to be there and gently guide yourself back to this solid feeling inside your core.
Breathe.
Love, Jen
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