As I sit here pondering what to share with you this week, the words stillness and surrender seem to keep arising in their many forms.
In a world that teaches us that we have to continually be doing, racing, chasing, forcing, making things happen, hustling . . . I have found quite the opposite to be true.
The more I do all of the above, the worse things get for me. It’s definitely an addiction. I’d say it’s my biggest one. Doing. And the telltale signs of it? Noticing how my inner critic jumps in when I practice doing nothing. It loves to dish out the shame and get me thinking I need to be more productive and show something for myself.
“The more I do all of the above, the worse things get for me. It’s definitely an addiction. I’d say it’s my biggest one. Doing.”
The more I let go of busying myself with the outside world while simultaneously listening to the inner callings within, the more my true self becomes who I identify with.
I remember reading stuff like what I just wrote and being fascinated, enthralled and at the same time mystified with a WTF is this person talking about?
The true self, (what same may call enlightenment or being awakened) seemed like this esoteric, exciting pinnacle of existence that I wanted to achieve.
I’d see humans with their writings online and I’d absorb their teachings. People like Burt Harding and Adyashanti and Pema Chodron.
And at the same time I felt they were special. I remember the first time I read an excerpt from Pema which described an experience she had where she was enraged from finding out her boyfriend was cheating on her and she took an expensive household item on display and threw it.
I remember reading that Adyashanti was married.
Or that Ram Dass decided to be single because being in a relationship was just too challenging for him. He didn’t like how relationships pulled him out of his communion with God and honestly shared, he wasn’t up for the challenges required of being in a romantic relationship .
It was comments like these that had me at first feeling confused, these spiritual teachers have feelings and problems and relationships?
Eventually I understood more deeply the very real and accessible nature of the true self and how it’s a journey for everyone. That it’s right here. It’s in this day, in this body, in this moment.
That spiritual teachers are just humans.
That it isn’t an all or nothing experience- it actually is full of levels and spirals and different shades.
That the true self isn’t an experience to be achieved or attained- it is who we really are and we don’t have to do anything to get to it. All we have to do is keep looking at what isn’t the true self with compassion and nonjudgment.
It is right here, in this moment.
“It does not mean that I don’t take action.
It means that I take action from a place of nondoing.
At first this nondoingness is a literal need to just sit here and not move from this spot until I get my nervous system regulated.”
This is why I teach a different approach to assisting women in stepping into their calling.
It’s one that includes a lot of rest, a lot of contemplation, reflection and nondoing.
I find that as I practice the teachings I share with others, this is the way for me.
It does not mean that I don’t take action.
It means that I take action from a place of nondoing.
At first this nondoingness is a literal need to just sit here and not move from this spot until I get my nervous system regulated.
It could look like sitting in a meditation or visualization for an hour as I wait for pains, aches, skin crawly sensations and gut wrenching feelings to pass.
It could be throwing my legs up onto stacks of pillows as I let fresh oxygenated blood come into my core as I can feel the energy returning to my body.
Eventually, this physical nondoing, or what Pema Chodron refers to as, holding your seat, starts to emerge even while I’m doing.
I can pause in the middle of something, and feel the spaciousness, stillness and presence.
I can notice when it doesn’t feel that way and realize I have to stop, pause, potentially for long lengths of time and trust that I will be guided to act again once the awareness of my true self returns.
I do believe that we have to take actions in order to live according to our deepest calling.
However, I do not believe that those actions are in our own timing.
What do I mean by this? I mean that it is the timing of our true self.
When we are aligned with our True Self, actions will feel open, spacious, uplifting and warm.
When we are aligned with fear, or our over or under regulated nervous system, we will feel tense, forceful, driven, exhausted or rushed.
We can take whatever actions we want, however, when we take actions that are aligned with our true self, they will be actions that reap the longterm reward of peace and outcomes better than our surface desires.
When we take actions outside of this centered self, we often find ourselves more stressed, run down and potentially out of commission for days, months or years. You can find out more which areas of your life and biz these actions are showing up by taking my simple Confident CEO Assessment here.
This is not to judge when we do make choices outside of the true self.
It is a natural human journey to keep deciding and then to get to know our true self better.
This is what I teach in my upcoming course, Confident CEO Mastery. It is not another course to arm and guard you to move forward on your journey with more steel to protect you and make the outside world “work” for you.
It is a course that will allow you tap more deeply into your innermost strength, your foundation of Self so that you can develop a life and business that is aligned with who you truly are and what you truly want.
We will discuss the natural progression of stepping into your calling, so that you have a roadmap to understand what is going on.
We will learn how to trust our highest selves through finding out what our highest self is not. We will discover how to make choices without draining energy.
We will take the shame and judgment off of self abandonment and soulbreak which keep us disconnected from our lifeforce and our calling.
We will understand the archetypes of the empowered woman and how to embody these energies while living lives in relationships, professionally and with our to- do lists.
It is a course not to do more, but to release more. It is meant honor you, your rhythms and nurture you from the inside out.
To find out more about the upcoming 4 week online experience in November, you can find all of the details here.
You can also reply with a comment and I am happy to answer any questions!
Lot’s of love my friends,
and share with others :)