So I said I'd have a story regarding these watercolors that I posted a few pics back. They are from a very long time ago. I received them when I was a child, most likely early 90's, but they definitely seem older than that which makes them even cooler..retro! They were a part of a Christmas gift from a stranger, as were often many of our gifts because the local church would organize gift giving for needy families.
I always received art supplies as gifts because I was always creating as a child. It's where I didn't think. I could just be. I remember feeling really embarrassed and feeling a lot of shame receiving these gifts.
I always felt different and like I was living this secret life in a wealthy and middle class town. I realize now that this experience was not only something that I was powerless over, but that the shame was there because I felt there was something wrong with me and I felt pitied and pitied myself. I put these watercolors away, only from time to time seeing them as I moved and reorganized art supplies over the years.
I've had a revival and truly feel whole as I embrace myself as the artist, creator, and maker that I truly am which gives me so much joy. I'm so grateful that I've held onto them because now I have this meaningful story behind them. I also see that what is my true essence can never be forgotten. It just wasn't the right time. Now that I've unburdened many layers of pain, my inner child and inner artist have been awakened.
I wish I saved the note that came with these watercolors, but the memory will be forever embedded in my mind. It was very kind. I can picture now. A handwritten note that said they were used by a real artist and now they were being passed down to me.
I recently paid it forward in my own way. A teacher from an inner city school in Chicago asked me if I would send my art scraps to her and her students so they could make Valentines!
I jumped at the opportunity and can’t wait to see what they make! Stay tuned for pics:)
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